I SNEAR NOT CURSE

Odd feeling, daddy just bought me the new cell phone

( shouldn't i show my gratitude towards dad ? )

Yet i don't feel hyper at all for it

Feels like something is missing, no words can tell

Perhaps i've been lost in the mist for months .. i guess

Here's my place to speak my mind, but obviously, it's lonely

Sometimes i would hang on to the past, dwelling on them, they're really wonderful .... sounds like it's hurt

Yup .. they're gone .. vanished as if never occured in my life

Just a big vacuum left ....

And my .... smile ? Quite bitter ..

I wonder how my best friend think of me, a freak or an idiot ?

I keep trying to indulge myself in leisure, this keeps me feel better, at least i can get rid of the pain .. i guess

Time flies, my best friend said

Right now my best friend experiences the love, and i wish that she can stay blissful with her loved guy

All of my friends are doing well .. i shouldn't worry but feel glad for that

May be it's time to go, to give up on my last hope .. you know is him ....

Being ditched is really hurt, but it's a crucial lesson after all

I don't deny my mistakes i've done to him .. but i can't stand the crude treatment towards me, never ever

How am i gonna forgive him ?

God tells me the way i should choose but i have to suffer, it's not easy to go through either ..

The consequence of the past is suffering .. untold ..

I can't picture my next steps ..

I'm struggling in fear

Sorry i should not be a coward or a loser, i must be brave enough to fight for myself

This world is too cruel, if i don't fight i will die